Anxiety and the Child of God

I have always struggled with anxiety. The childhood I had was rife with uncertainties. Would I see my mom this week, my dad? Would I have to make breakfast for myself and my younger cousin again because the adults were still passed out from the night before? Would anyone ever love me or want me? These aren't typical thoughts a child should have. The Lord Jesus made Himself real to me from a very young age. He would sit with me and calm me when arguments, fights, drunken revelries took place. He was right beside me calming my mind and giving me peace through some of the most horrific things a child could ever go through. He is a comfort, a light shining in the darkness that could have consumed my life.

In my study today, I was led to Psalm 37. The whole premise of this psalm is to not fret because of evil doers, to trust God, to commit to His ways, and to wait on Him. As I studied, I was reminded of the world we live in today. The child sex trafficking taking place. The drug pushers, addicts, and their poor families. The compromising of our election system. I was pondering, "what is this country going to look like if this continues? What kind of world are my children and grandchildren going to grow up in? All I could have given my children, was the knowledge of who Jesus has been to me, and who He wants to be to them. It's a scary world our kids are going to inherit. How do we as parents cope with our anxieties to show our children how to deal with theirs?"

In Psalm 37 the phrase, "do not fret," appears 3 times.

1. Psalm 37:1 "Do not fret because of evil doers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity."

2. Psalm 37:7-8 "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret, it only causes harm."

What does it mean to "fret?" It means to be concerned about something that cannot be changed. It can cause agitation, irritation, like when you itch a bug bite until it bleeds. It can cause annoyance, or even anger. When you fret, whatever it is you're fretting over has consumed your thoughts. It is slowly and steadily eating away at you. It's bigger than worrying. It completely consumes your mind. You start to become annoyed by the fact that these evils are occurring, seemingly unpunished. This annoyance can quickly turn to anger and anger to wrath. God has the end sorted for the wicked.

What about the part where it says, "nor be envious?" Have you ever encountered a boastful person who doesn't follow God? They may have a great job, making great money. They brag about their possessions, the trips, their wealth. At times this can cause you to fret because you serve God faithfully but don't have these things. Do you ever feel like they don't deserve the good things in life, and you do? What about when the 2020 election was clearly stolen? How did you feel? The way of the wicked definitely prospered then and look at what has happened in our nation over the past 4 years. These are those who work iniquity. Iniquity in itself means "to bend, twist, or distort." The word is used to describe crooked behavior, wickedness, guilt, or sin. Why do the wicked boast? It's because the things they have acquired for themselves are only good for this lifetime. When they die, they have a judgement to face that unless they come to know Jesus, they will pay for eternally. This is why we shouldn't be envious. What we are doing for the Lord will add to our treasure stores in heaven. Our end is just our beginning. We have no reason to envy these. But should pray that their eyes be opened.

Psalm 73:3 "For I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked."

Proverbs 23:17 "Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day."

Jeremiah 12:1, 2a "Righteous are You, O Lord, when I plead with you; yet let me talk with You about Your judgements. Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why are You happy with those who deal treacherously?" You are near in their mouth, but far from their mind."

I could for sure, identify with Jeremiah in those last verses. I do have a tendency to overthink. To fret over these things. To ponder, what i can do to fix any of it. I was reminded in study yesterday, that I should be concerned with sharing Jesus to this generation. Sharing all He has done to secure for us a place in heaven with Him eternally. To share His peace. I can't do that effectively if my thoughts are consumed by the wicked and their works. I should be more concerned with their souls and salvation. I should have the mind of Christ when it comes to these things.

In my past, my former in laws had everything. Their grandson who was my older children's father, was absolutely horrible to me. When I finally left him after years of emotional, physical, verbal and sexual abuse, His family made sure I would pay for this. They did so by securing favor with a judge and making it, so my children had to live with my abuser full time, with myself only to be allowed visitation, unless I went back to him. I was mad at God for allowing this to happen to me. I had that same conversation with God. I had to ask Him why? My children were my life. When they had to go live with my abuser all I wanted to do was die. God was trying to teach me something. I found this verse: "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of Me." -Matthew 10:37 I had to make Him 1st!

After 3 years of hiding from God and doing harm to myself because of these perceived injustices done to me, I fought back. I did so by coming back to church. I did so by recommitting my life to the only One who had ever truly loved me. The One who gave me His peace in my darkest hours. I eventually got more time with my kids. They eventually came back to me. I continue to pray for healing from all the emotional and physical traumas I endured during that time. But now, I pray for those who took my kids, I pray for the one who abused me in every sense of the word. I forgive them. I leave justice to the capable hands of The Almighty.

It's during these times of perceived injustices, in times when we are consumed by the boasts of those who take and do not give; we should remember the words of Agur in Proverbs 30:7-9, "Two things I ask you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread." If you didn't know, Jesus is the bread of life. Consume Him daily! Spend time with him every day. Give Him these things that consume your mind. Let Him wash you with the water of the word and feed you with it's promises for you.

I'll leave you with some Bible:

Matthew 6:25-34 "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet, your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

1 Peter 5:7 "Therefore humble yourselves, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the appropriate time, casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you."

God still puts leaders in place and takes them out. He is still fully in control of the events now transpiring as well as of those to come. Trust Him. Commit yourself to His way. Rest assured that no matter what comes, He's got you. You are His child.

Be blessed by being a blessing.