As a dog returns to its vomit...

Proverbs 26:11 "As a dog returns to his own vomit, so is a fool who repeats a folly."

This scripture really stood out to me this morning in my personal study time. It made me think about how many times in my younger life I would repeat and repent, repeat and repent. I sincerely hope none of you have ever been caught in that vicious cycle.

A brief overview: I was brought up in a home that knew of God's goodness without living out a life spent walking with Him. Meaning: They believed that if they had made of proclamation of Christ being their Savior as a child, they could inevitably live however they saw fit. This kind of lifestyle produces no fruits of repentance. Instead, it shows the fruits of riotous, worldly living. It is very deceptive and is so widespread among "Christian" households in America today.

I personally believe that you can believe in Jesus as a child, and all the way through your adult life without ever living for Him and walking in step with His Spirit. But I question if you were ever truly saved. Firstly, as a child we often don't fully understand what sin is. Especially if we have been brought up in a home that sees cussing, drinking, partying, sleeping around, fighting, etc as the norm. How does that kind of lifestyle showcase godly living? If you only go to church for a wedding, a funeral, Christmas or Easter, what is your relationship with the living God?

Growing up in a home like this taught me a lot of bad behaviors that I had to come to terms with as I grew in understanding of Who the Lord is and what He has done for us.

I got pregnant and had my 1st child at 15. This wasn't uncommon in my family. Before the preacher my grandad knew would marry me and my child's dad, he said we had to be saved. I didn't have a clue what that meant. He just asked me, "do you believe that Jesus was the Son of God?" and "Do you believe He died for your sins?" I knew that much about Jesus, so I eagerly agreed and was quickly baptized. However, I didn't always walk that out in my life.

My 1st husband was a good bit older than me. He was of drinking age. He led me into social drinking, and all the socially acceptable activities of the late 90s and early 00s. All the while I was still trying to grow spiritually. You see, these 2 lifestyles can't coexist peacefully and give you a satisfied walk with the Lord. It leads to a repeat and repent lifestyle. I would hang out with him and his friends and drink on the weekends, go to church Sunday, repent of all I had done, and repeat the next Friday night. This was unfulfilling to say the absolute least.

After we divorced in 2005, I had several rough years where i was in a downward spiral. I had lost everything. I was mad at God and engaged in many stupid activities to try to shorten my time here on earth. I didn't want to live at all anymore. I was barely in my 20s! I was so lost and undone. Because I had done just what the generation before me had done. I had claimed Christ but lived how I chose. I was listening to anything that sounded good and easy. I was following the desires of my flesh. I was in a mess.

After living this way for 2.5 years I had reached a breaking point. I took a whole bottle of prescription anti-depressants with a strong sleep aid. I was determined to never wake up. But God intervened. I am so thankful that He did. I got away from the people I had associated myself with and moved back home with my grandparents. I began praying more. I still had some of those old friends that would encourage the drinking and the "good times," but God was working on me, I felt His tug.

In January of 2008, God answered my prayer for a godly man. Daniel walked into my life and committed himself to me on just our 2nd date with an engagement ring. We vowed to go to church, to raise our family together, the right way this time. He was everything I never knew I always needed. We joined Lighted Pathway. We married. and more and more the Spirit pulled. He led both of us completely away from all those things that had ensnared us for most of our lives. We committed to the Lord, heart, mind, soul, and body. We had our back and forths, our struggles with the world, the flesh, and the devil, of course, it is all common to man. But we have a solid relationship with the Lord that puts us back on track.

I write all of this to inform you, don't be like the dog that returns to its vomit. If you claim the Lord Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior, live a life worthy of Him. Don't fall back into old destructive habits. They aren't worth returning to. Move forward with God and grow spiritually so you can complete the work He has for you to do in your time here.

Be blessed by being a blessing.