Overcoming Anger and Wrath

Anger is a core emotion. We all get mad. There is a place for anger. There are proper ways to recognize the causes of your anger. There are ways to release your anger in a positive manner. Last week we discussed some practical steps to release that anger to God before it can become a root of bitterness or magnify itself to a manifestation of wrath or rage. Instead of taking our feelings out on others, we can harness that energy to love and live by the Spirit in hopes that our lives would look different to the rest of the world around us.

What is the difference between anger and wrath?

Anger:

• shows us something is wrong

• motivates us to take action/ address the source of our frustration

• dissipates over time

Wrath: extreme anger that expresses itself in a desire to punish someone

• goes beyond anger

• more intense/prolonged

• fueled by a strong desire for revenge/harm toward others

• often stems from deep seated resentment, moral indignation, a craving for retribution

• lingers and leads to destructive thoughts or behaviors

The Bible has a lot to say about the wrath of man and how we should forsake it. Let's look into some scripture.

James 1:19-20

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary offers meaningful insight into these scriptures.

"And if men would govern their tongues, they must govern their passions. The worst thing we can bring to any dispute, is anger. Here is an exhortation to lay apart, and to cast off as a filthy garment, all sinful practices. This must reach to sins of thought and affection, as well as of speech and practice; to everything corrupt and sinful. We must yield ourselves to the word of God, with humble and teachable minds. Being willing to hear of our faults, taking it not only patiently, but thankfully. It is the design of the word of God to make us wise to salvation; and those who propose any mean or low ends in attending upon it, dishonor

the gospel and

disappoint their own souls."

How true is that?! If you have ever been so angered that you did yield to it and act on it, weren't you disgusted with yourself when you came to your senses? When we do this, we don't glorify God in our bodies, and we do disappoint our own souls.

There's a scene in the series chosen where Peter is speaking with Jesus about forgiveness. It's so beautiful how this series brings the scriptures to life. Imagine yourself sat beside Jesus and having a conversation about things like this. "Lord, so and so hurt me, so and so betrayed me. I am so angry! Why should I forgive them? If they do it again and again, how many times should I forgive before I walk away completely or implode?" The story is found in Matthew 18:21-22. "Then Peter came up and said to Him, ‘Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me, and I still forgive him? Up to seven times? ’Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy-seven times." It's in forgiving the offense and giving the anger or desire for vengeance to God that God is glorified, not in our expression of momentary feelings.

.

Jesus goes further and says in Matthew 5:44,

"But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"

So, this forgiveness isn't just for those close to us who may hurt us at times, but also to our enemies. Instead of returning evil for evil, we are called to bless, and to pray for those who would so harm us. Remember, God isn't willing that any should perish. 2 Peter 3:9: "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." He isn't pleased when the wicked die and are sent to eternal punishment. He would rather we, as His children, show them His love extended, that they may believe in the One who has made our hearts different.

Ephesians 4:31-32: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."

Proverbs 19:11: "A man's insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense."

Matthew 6:14: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 18:33: "Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?'

Ecclesiastes 7:7-9: "Surely oppression destroys a wise man’s reason, and a bribe [a]debases the heart. The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools."

Anger, bitterness and wrath can all have devastating effects on interpersonal relationships. It can also take a toll on your physical body as well as your spiritual standing. Man's wrath doesn't produce righteousness. It only causes harm.

James 4:1 says, " Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?" James suggests that this anger, stems from an internal battle within yourself. Paul explains in Romans 7:22-23, "For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members." It's an internal struggle between spirit and flesh. Imagine this, someone has just come up to you and accused you of something awful. They call you names. They hit you. Your heart start to beat faster. Your blood pressure starts to elevate, your breathing gets more rapid. You feel the desire to act welling up in your members. What do you do? Do you submit to the law of sin, or do you submit to the will of God? Sure, you can speak the truth in the situation, but you must forgive instantly before it turns into more. Look them in the eye. Tell them they are wrong. Tell them you forgive them and that you'll pray their eyes be opened to the truth and walk away. To most quick-tempered humans, this may seem nearly impossible, but to the child of God who has been forgiven much, this is just a drop in the bucket. The source of conflict among us is a contentious, selfish nature. Worldly wisdom causes chronic interpersonal warfare, but heavenly wisdom produces an atmosphere of peace, in which seeds of righteousness will grow. In every situation we have a choice. That choice is one of two options. to pull heaven down into the situation, or to bring hell up. Whichever you choose in any given situation is an indicator of where your heart lies. Choose wisely.

There are several strategies that may offer up some help in situations where you are having difficulty controlling these powerful emotions.

1. ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES: Specific Coping Strategies

-deep breathing techniques

-progressive muscle relaxation

-mindfulness practices

2. DEVELOP EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:

-Know your emotions be self-aware, know your triggers and response patterns

-Use your emotions: navigate conflicts in a better way

-Manage your emotions: reframe your thoughts, challenge assumptions, choose alternatives

-Perceive emotions: see them as just a feeling, know that feelings should not control your mind or body

3. PRACTICE SELF CARE/STRESS REDUCTION

-Lead a healthy lifestyle: practice meditative prayer

-Exercise regularly: Exercise releases lasting "feel good" hormones into the brain

-Get adequate sleep: When you're well rested, you cope easier and think clearer

-Maintain a balanced diet: feeding your body the right things gives your body all the tools it needs to have a balanced mind as well

-Engage in hobbies that promote relaxation/joy: write, draw, craft

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally enhances emotional resilience making it easier to handle emotional triggers and respond in a more composed manner.

4. CULTIVATE EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING

-Put yourself in someone else's shoes

-Seek to understand another's perspective

-By practicing empathy, you can better understand emotions, motivations, and needs which can diffuse anger and turn away wrath

-Involves active listening, open-mindedness, acknowledging the complexities of the situation

5. PRACTICE SELF-CONTROL

Actively pursuing these strategies promotes healthier communications, builds stronger relationships, and teaches you how to respond to conflicts with compassion and empathy. Each strategy contributes to self-awareness, emotional regulation, healthier responses, promotes personal growth, improves relationships, and a more positive, harmonious life.

All of this works together for the child of God striving to overcome the former man and teaches them how to put on the new. I do hope you have taken something from today's study that can help you advance and grow spiritually. That is my aim in these blogs. I hope to share what I am learning, with the full expectation that it will help someone else who struggles too.

Until next time, be blessed by being a blessing.